Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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