Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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