Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
me + whiskey = a bad person
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
