I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
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