Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Randomize
