There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Randomize
