If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
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