He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
