Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
