The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
