break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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