Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Randomize
