stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Randomize
