I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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