I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
