And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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