I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
She bit a glass in half.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Randomize
