i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
it's not cheating when I paid for it
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
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