someone get that fucking seahorse.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
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