We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
