So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Randomize
