I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
