How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize
