we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Randomize
