How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
