Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
