problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Can Purell be used as lube?
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
