there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
