i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
