Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
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