i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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