she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Randomize
