So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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