Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
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You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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