Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
She announced her abortion via fbk
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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