Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize
