I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize