Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
As shirtless as possible
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
