none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
