I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
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