Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Randomize