; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Randomize
