So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
