I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
