i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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