I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize