I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
