Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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