Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Randomize
