the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Randomize
