Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
