garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
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