You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
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