your room smells of hookers.
And success
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I hope mine doesn't look like that
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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