I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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