Can i not drive my cunt home
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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