You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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