What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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