i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
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