how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize