WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Randomize
