And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
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