sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Randomize
