Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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