Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
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I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
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