Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
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