Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
