do herpes really smell.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Randomize
