he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Randomize
